When a married man falls in love with another woman, he discovers just how complicated life and relationships can be.
And he’s likely to fight it.
The consequences of infidelity are far-reaching and, ultimately, painful for everyone involved.
That said, even when there’s a battle going on to hide them, the signs a married man is in love with you are more evident than he might think.
But how easy is it for a man who’s committed himself to his wife to fall for someone else?
Can A Married Man be in Love with Another Woman?
It turns out, it’s not as difficult as one would hope, nor is the tendency exclusive to men.
Married women are just as likely to fall for someone else, given the right circumstances.
How does it happen, though?
What can lead a married man to fall in love with another?
- Close proximity to a co-worker whose company he frequently enjoys
- An encounter that highlights something unusual he has in common with another
- An understanding he shares with a chosen counselor, teacher, or mentor
- A breakthrough he’s reached with the help of another attractive woman
- A connection formed between him and a woman he feels comfortable with
23 Signs of a Married Man in Love with Another Woman
Look for the following signs a married man is in love with you when you spend time together.
The more signs you see, the more likely it is he’s formed a connection he’d like to explore, given the chance.
He might also show signs he’s fighting his attraction, so watch out for mixed signals.
1. His face lights up when he sees you.
You see the delight in his face when he sees you, and it either warms you to the core or stimulates a fight-or-flight response.
Maybe he sees the same positive reaction in your face when your eyes meet. Or maybe he just convinces himself it’s there.
Either way, you get the impression he’s been waiting for you to show up.
2. He finds reasons to be where you are.
If reasons don’t present themselves, he’ll make his own, just to get more time with you. And he shows a marked preference for your company or assistance over others’.
You have mixed feelings, because you know he’s married. But it seems innocent enough. Then he starts finding reasons to touch you — your shoulder, your arm, your back.
Or maybe he invents an excuse to meet you for coffee or lunch.
3. He’s at his most animated and attentive with you.
You’re not the only one who’s noticed he perks right up when you walk into the room.
When you’re talking about something (anything, really), he’s riveted by every word that comes out of your mouth. It’s awkward (and, you can’t help noticing, adorable).
If you don’t feel the same, you might respond by finding an excuse to leave, at the risk of seeing the sudden and unmistakable disappointment in his face.
4. He pays you unexpected compliments.
The random, thoughtful compliments are nice to hear, at least at first.
If he overdoes it, and you don’t know how to respond, you might feel that it’s time to excuse yourself and put some space between you.
On the other hand, if your current partner isn’t lavishing you with compliments, and this guy knows just the kinds you want to hear, you might just linger a while.
5. He’s interested in your love life.
He shows a surprising amount of interest in your love life for a guy who’s not your partner, dad, brother, or therapist.
He offers himself as a confidante for any “love issues” you might have because then he can show you how understanding and empathetic he can be.
He’ll risk overstepping with questions to know you and your love life better than most because he wants to be there for you if things get messy (fingers crossed).
6. He either speaks frankly of his married life or avoids any mention of it.
He’ll either try to send the message that his marriage isn’t all he’d like it to be (maybe because he and his wife don’t have much in common — not as much as he has with you), or he’ll avoid the subject altogether.
He doesn’t want you to see him as a married guy (i.e., “off-limits”), so he might prefer to act as if he’s free to be as friendly with you as he’d like to be.
7. He’s quick to point out what you have in common.
Anytime he sees similarities between you — especially those that strike him as further proof of your compatibility — he’s likely to point them out.
If he’s fighting his attraction, you might see a hint of a smile when such a similarity is pointed out by someone else, even if he abruptly changes the subject.
Overall, you get the strong impression those similarities matter to him.
8. He’s quick to come to your aid or offer his help.
He also loves it when you ask him for help — with anything. It’s almost as if he sees helping you as his primary mission in life.
Maybe he sees himself as your mentor or advisor, and he feels compelled to help you in any way he can.
At some point, though, he comes to your aid because he wants to be the first one to show up for you. And it becomes more obvious that his attachment is not platonic.
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9. His body language toward you is open and receptive.
It’s not just your imagination. His body language toward you shows openness and an obvious preference.
When you’re seated together, he’ll turn his body toward you (and away from others) to show you his full attention.
You’ve seen the opposite. And you know (and feel) what it means.
10. He’s always willing to make time for you.
He always has room in his life for you, whatever you need.
If he can’t drop what he’s doing and run to your side, he’ll get there as soon as he’s able. He’ll even sacrifice other commitments to help you with something or respond to a summons from you.
If he’s not interested in fighting the attraction, chances are he’ll prioritize being there for you over being there for his wife. And that’s likely where it’ll get complicated.
11. He tries to keep in touch with you on a regular basis.
He makes an effort to check up on you and keep tabs on how you’re doing and whether you need or want anything (at all).
He likes to be in the loop at all times with anything to do with you. If you’re hurting or if anything goes wrong, he wants to be there for you.
So, even if you don’t see each other every week, he’ll make sure you don’t become strangers. And he’ll find a million reasons and ways to keep in touch.
12. He values your opinions and seeks them out.
He’s not only open to hearing your opinions, he asks for them. He wants to know more about you and what you think — about everything.
He wants to be on the same page with you, and he wants you to see that your thoughts matter to him.
Obviously, this will stand out more if being open to others’ opinions is new for him.
13. He behaves like a perfect gentleman around you.
He’s on his best behavior when you’re around. He’s the first to offer you a seat, to ask if you’d like some refreshment, and to engage you in conversation — or, at least, he strives to be.
If he has competition in this arena, he may seem noticeably perturbed by them.
Clearly, he’s hoping to impress you and to stand out as the kind of guy you can trust to treat you with respect and thoughtfulness.
14. He goes out of his way to see you.
Not content with the “Oh, hey, I didn’t see you there” encounters, this guy will go out of his way to make sure he sees you more often. He’s probably thinking about it right now.
Also, if you happen to ask him for help with something, he will go above and beyond to show up for you. In fact, he’ll do more than you’d normally expect him to do for someone who isn’t family or his boss. It’s weirdly endearing.
15. He seems agitated by you.
He actually seems nervous — like he cares what you think of him. And he might actually seem annoyed with himself for acting flustered or off his game.
He might also be annoyed with you for having that effect on him. If you’re a Bridgerton fan, think of Anthony when he’s around Kate in Season 2. It’s like that.
He seems visibly affected by your presence. And you’re probably not the only one who’s noticed.
16. He imitates your actions or mannerisms.
You’ve noticed he’s started imitating your movements or mannerisms. He’s noticed some of the things you do and internalized them to the point he’s actually made them his own.
Assuming he’s not doing this in an exaggerated manner to mock you, he’s probably not even aware that he’s imitating you.
17. His manner of speaking comes closer to yours.
It’s as if he’s trying to meet you halfway, but he may be wholly unaware that he’s doing this. He starts using some of the same expressions or slang terms.
Or he may imitate your manner of presenting new information, borrowing turns of phrases or types of humor to make a point or to get people’s attention. As with mannerisms, he may not be consciously aware of the imitation.
18. He leans in.
He literally leans closer to you — maybe to hear you better or to show interest in what you’re saying. He may also take a step (or steps) closer to where you are, not to be aggressive but simply because he’s interested in what you’re saying.
He may not even know why he’s moving closer to you. One moment, he’s across the room, and suddenly, he’s a few feet away.
19. He surprises you with gifts.
It’s one thing if he gives gifts like these to people besides you — like your coworkers or other friends of his. But if he buys you things he wouldn’t buy for anyone else (even his wife), that’s a strong sign he’s interested in you.
If the interest isn’t mutual, this would be a good time to let him know and maybe leave the country (or find a new job).
20. He puts more effort into his grooming.
A man who is in love with you will probably put more effort into looking attractive, partly because of the energizing effect of being in love and partly because he wants you to like what you see when he shows up.
Maybe he’s even hoping you’ll notice the extra effort he’s put into his appearance. He cares about what you think of him.
21. He tries to cheer you up when you’re feeling down.
When you’re having a rough day (or week), this guy will go out of his way to help you feel better. He’ll take the time to check on you. Seeing you in low spirits he may look for ways to lift them up and let you know he cares.
If he’s in love with you, chances are he’ll do more than he would for a platonic friend.
22. He wants to hear about your plans for the future.
A man who is in love with you will want to know about your plans and where you see yourself in the next year or three years — and not just because he wonders whether you’re planning to stick with the same job or stay in the same area.
He wants to know how you see your life now, how you want to change it, and whether he can see himself as part of that life.
23. He texts (or emails) you about major events or news in his life.
You’re important to him, so, naturally, he wants to share any news he considers important — and any significant events in his life. He wants to see how you react when he tells you about something important to him.
Maybe you’re not the only one with whom he shares important news. But it means something that you’re someone he needs to tell.
Frequently Asked Questions
While the signs described in this post should help clear things up, we’d like to specifically address some of the more popular questions related to this topic.
Feel free to jot down any new questions that arise and to take a few minutes to write about them.
How do you know if a man loves you who is married?
How do you know if what you’re picking up from him is about real love and not just infatuation?
If a man loves you, whether he’s married or not, he will go out of his way to do things for you or to be there for you — not to score points with you but because he deeply cares for you.
A man who truly loves you is willing to take risks he wouldn’t take otherwise.
Why does a married man fall in love with another woman?
It happens for much the same reasons a married woman might fall in love with someone else (even if she doesn’t act on it):
- Dissatisfaction with the marriage relationship (feeling neglected, criticized, etc.);
- Deep loneliness in a marriage both people stay in for the wrong reasons;
- Growing self-knowledge that leads to a different sexual identity;
- Feeling a strong connection with another — and none with your spouse;
- Finding more in common with another — when the only thing you share with your spouse is parenthood.
How do you know if a married man hides his feelings for you?
A married man who is in love with you but who is determined to hide that from you (and from everyone else) will probably still display some nonverbal signs of his attraction to you.
But he may try to mitigate the effect of those signs in any of the following ways:
- Avoiding your company whenever possible
- Never initiating contact — via text, email, social media, etc.
- Playing devil’s advocate with you (though this could just be his thing)
- Showing a marked preference for everyone but you
All the above signs are meant to be considered as part of a bigger picture, not to be interpreted in isolation.
By themselves, they’re more likely to mean this guy is not into you at all.
A man who has feelings for you but doesn’t want you to know about them will consciously show indifference or avoidance while unconsciously (and often nonverbally) leaking unmistakable signs of attraction — like the ones described in this post.
What Makes a Man Leave His Wife for Another Woman?
It’s hard to talk about the possible reasons why a married man might leave his wife for someone else, but it’s still important for everyone involved to know why.
Here’s a sampling of the most common reasons:
- He’s never felt a strong connection with his wife.
- The connection he had with his wife is gone or weaker than his new connection.
- His new attachment makes him feel young, attractive, and powerful.
- He’s weighed the cost of losing either his wife or you — and decided in your favor.
- He’s enjoyed his fantasies involving you and wants to try making them come true.
Time will tell whether this new connection will fare better than the first. Dating a married man is different from dating a man who’s free to pursue a relationship with you.
When a married man tells you he loves you, the obstacles to your relationship don’t magically disappear. If anything, they become more noticeable.
Now that you’ve looked through the signs a married man is in love with you, what will you do this week if he levels up his attention? And just how messy can this get?
What if he has kids? What if his wife is your BFF? What if you’re in love with him, too? No matter how strong your connection, affairs with married people rarely end well.
Your best bet? Enlist the help of someone whose counsel you trust. And give each other the space you both need to consider the whole picture.