Red flags isn’t really a popular topic in the “relationship goals” era we live in today. There are lots of YouTube and social media couples that make good money and lots of people look up to them. We always get that harsh realization that every smiling couple isn’t perfect when there is a scandal that breaks out! Over the last year alone, there has been quite a few scandals amongst beloved couples like Dearra and Ken, The Ace family and more who has had a scandal or two.
It always hit me hard when I see the scandal is infidelity because I know first hand how that can affect someone. The difference between an average person and an influencer being cheated on is the fact that influencers experience public scrutiny. Dealing with that type of hurtful and embarrassing situation on a public platform is beyond my imagination.
Its super important to realize that before a situation just gets super bad its progressive signs there. Red flags are those progressive signs that should alert you that things are moving on the wrong side of the highway. Keep your eyes and ears open on this one here! Its sure to help you analyze the progress you maybe making on your own relationship.
Take More Than They Are Willing to Give
In a relationship, give and take is a basic principle. However, when you notice your partner will take excessively but won’t give at the same capacity, that is a red flag right there. There is no secret that opportunist will find opportunities in relationship settings! Let me explain! When there is an opportunity to take, it doesn’t matter the circumstances or individual but its about the opportunity.
This is a very selfish trait and not everyone who uses people are at the opportunistic level but it surely can reach there. Let this be a sign of how the individual feels about you without needing words. They may say everything that seems right but actions are the truth tellers. Most likely they are in the relationship because it benefits them in some kind of way. A user hates boundaries so watch how they react to the word “no.” Cut off the hand that keeps on taking and move on.
Lack Of Self Control
This red flag is a very important one! This is an indicator that shows you what someone is truly capable of doing! Someone without self control allows situations and other’s influence to dictate their own reactions. Let me break it to you this way; if someone drinks 2 beers, the person with no self boundaries will allow that person to convince them to do the same. This is a small analogy compared to the situations that could really occur.
This is a very dangerous game to play, especially with someone with an uncontrollable temper. I’ve been there and I’ll be the first one to tell you IT IS NOT WORTH IT! Ignoring this red flag causes you all kinds of mental and physical harm that is a difficult time to recover from. A person without self control is liable for tons of sabotaging behavior like cheating, health risk, financial problems and lots more! This is a heartache waiting to happen. It is better to link up with someone who shares similar values and standards.
Violent Tendencies or Outburst
This red flag should never be ignored! This can be a life or death situation before you know it! If you have ignored things in the past, there is nothing you can do about the past. This day forward, try distancing yourself, please. The trauma associated with violent behavior is horrible and life altering for many. There are always red flags that signal the person is capable of darker behavioral patterns.
One early red flag is obsessiveness! In the beginning this can mimic signs of adoration or someone just loving your company. This is a tool of control and a way to lower your walls so they can possess you! It is like someone tricking you out of your pink slips for the car YOU own. They put “loving” gestures in front of this devious behavior to throw you off and give over ownership over yourself.
We are humans, not objects! This is very dangerous because what do we do to objects we don’t value? Misuse them, abandon them and other cases destroy them, this is the same way these predators think! Be aware!
This one is a common red flag we usually pick up on first. Of all the red flags mentioned previous, this one runs into those all those. To get you to stay in a toxic relationship, the person has to lie or discredit your observations. This can sound like them saying “you are always over thinking” or “it will never happen again.” Don’t believe the hype because actions are truth tellers!
This also another dangerous red flag because its a blind fold over your reality. Love yourself enough to know that you deserve truth! While we are here, let’s debunk this lie! When someone makes it seem like they lied to protect your feelings, safety or you period; it’s a lie! They are protecting the way you will view them. They don’t want their image tainted so they lie! Let them LIE in their bed they made, move on!
Irresponsibility in Any Category
Red Flag! Red Flag! Red Flag! Irresponsibility on any level is a sign of trouble! When someone lacks the capability of handling their own business, they can’t handle yours! By yours, I mean if you guys were to take on a joint responsibility like a puppy; you’ll most likely be left with all the baggage.
This is not good for anyone! It is important to be with a person who is capable of handling responsibility and help you! An irresponsible person is a liability to all areas of your life. You notice they aren’t good with money, deadlines, paying bills, school, family, obligations and other things all indicate irresponsibility! Save yourself the headache and let that person go!
This red flag has plagued relationships for forever. Inconsistencies is the main ingredient for an unstable foundation! This red flag can be quite annoying and damaging to your esteem if you aren’t careful. When someone is constantly showing up and then leaving at random points, this is confusion at its height!
A person who is unstable in their life is unable to fulfill obligations in yours. Your relationship will crumble fast because it has nothing to stand on. Being present is not just about being there physically. It is showing up mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Paying attention to how consistent a person is in their life and relationships around them is a great indicator on how they will treat you!